


Breaking The Cycle (Breaking Her)

by agirlnamedtruth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bondage, Dark, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Rape Fantasy, Sexual Fantasy, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6737878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though she's the last thing he wanted to think about, Dean can't help himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking The Cycle (Breaking Her)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "Dean thinking about Amara" at [MMOM](http://mmom.livejournal.com/).

It was starting to become a cycle. Every book Dean opened he was hoping to find her, every website, every search term, every file, every case he sought her out and he never found her. It was frustrating on a whole different level to what he was used to. Even Lucifer, even the freaking Apocalypse had been tangible. She was just a dust cloud, a shadow flushed out by the mere suggestion of light. All he had of her was in his head. He couldn’t even tell Sam about her, not in any way that was helpful. She was a brunette? Great, so was half of the world. She was hot? Bully for her. She seemed to think she was wrapped around Dean’s destiny like the snake in the Garden of Eden... Well, that narrowed it down to her and a few drunken one night stands that had gotten a little too attached but they could hardly use that to find her. Mid-thirties hunter seeks The Darkness for brutal death, perhaps more. 

Dean shook his head, settling back against his pillows, too beat to give a damn how ridiculous he felt anymore. He needed sleep. He needed to time out of this mess for a few hours but his mind could not drop it, like an over enthusiastic Doberman with a bone.

Unable to rid his thoughts with her or even slow the runaway train that was fast becoming an obsession with finding her, Dean got up, pulled his t-shirt over his head and locked his bedroom door, determined to have some control over the lunacy that was steadily becoming his default state of mind. This time she wouldn’t elude him, even if he would rather she did.

Palming his cock through his jeans, Dean sat back down on the bed, the briefest flashback to their kiss enough to render him unbearably hard quicker than an empty room and a laptop could. Unbuttoning his jeans, roughly pulling the zipper down, no need to seduce himself into it, he curled his hand around his dick, eye closing so he could pretend he wasn’t doing this. 

He wanted it to be quick and dirty, to not think about her like she wanted him too, like she was sure he would. When she said they were destined for each other, he imagined finding her, capturing her, holding her so she couldn’t escape. When she said they were bound together, he saw rope twisting around her hands, her ankles, crossing over between her breasts. When she said they would be together, he took her hard, making her scream, making her bleed. Breathing heavy, her darkness clouded his mind, darkened his pleasure as he came over his hand, her laughter echoing around his head and through his veins as he burned with the force of it, hating himself for it.

Fuck, he thought to himself as he collapsed back on the bed, they had to kill her. They had to kill her before he actually admitted to himself that he barely even wanted to anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> As of 01/01/18, I'm opting to disable comments. [More information here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13077201).


End file.
